- December. 10 2018
In the past I have talked about how in order to live a truly healthy life in all aspects, we must attend to other areas beyond just the physical stuff. One of those areas is our relationships.
Right now we are full on into what is called the Information Age. We are being bombarded with new information, from all angles really.
Day in and day out we are forced to consume data and learn at a much faster rate than ever before, as information is multiplying at much faster rates, doubling and even tripling in the span of only two to three years.
So, naturally, we are taught to filter. We have to, as there is no way for us to take in all the information that is being thrown at us on a regular basis.
But when are we using this skill correctly and incorrectly? When are we using it at the expense of our relationships?
When I ask if you are a good listener, I am not talking about listening in the sense of listening to get the information that you need in order to do your job or complete any specific task, I am talking about listening in the context of your personal relationships, including those with ourselves.
When we love someone, we give them our attention. We are in a sense, attending to that individual’s personal growth. We set aside our time and actively shift our consciousness toward them. We are consciously choosing to listen.
Yet, in reality, so many of us are poor listeners. Truly listening takes a great amount of effort and focus. You see, it’s actually quite simple, many of us are poor listeners because:
Truly listening sometimes takes a quantum leap of energy. How often do we spend our time “listening,” while actually thinking about the next thing we are going to say because we have this really cool story, about this one time…OR have our rebuttal perfectly planned out, OR are getting distracted by other things going on in our environment? You get my point.
In essence, becoming a good listener in our personal relationships is an act of love. When we choose to put forth the effort to fully listen, we are willing to do so because we perceive great value worth attending to in that person and relationship.
In giving our undivided attention, we are proclaiming to the speaker that he/she is valuable to us. How valuable do you feel when you know that someone is truly listening to you? When your story is being heard. It is a really good feeling, isn’t it?
It is almost therapeutic.
So in order to help you hone those listening skills, here are a few helpful tips.
Becoming a good listener is an invaluable tool. One’s ability to truly listen can improve over time, but it never becomes an effortless process. We must continue to practice, and hone this craft.
Have any of your own tips to offer?