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Gym Popularity: Not What It’s Cracked Up To Be

  • Ronak Patel
  • October 2, 2015

We’ve all had those moments at the gym where we think we’ve got to be in the twilight zone.

gym-locker-roomWhether it’s the enormous dude grunting and throwing free weights or it’s the free spirit in the locker room with one leg up on the sink counter, shaving the ol’ undercarriage, these moments can sometimes leave you wondering if you are the only one that’s experienced things like this.

Rest assured, you are not alone. In fact, it’s actually pretty funny to compare notes on who’s got the wackiest gym stories.

In this excerpt, our fitness buddy (and proud Core bag owner), Donloree, shares one of the funniest gym locker room stories we’ve ever heard.

Enjoy and be sure to share your crazy, funny, gym stories in the comment section below.

Popularity Isn’t As Grand As They Make It Out To Be

By Donloree Hoffman

I go to the gym every single day…even on my off-days. Yes, this is more than a bit OCD, but I am a creature of habit and enjoy the hot tub, steam room, and foam rolling.

My showers at home don’t need the soap scum removed, but do require a good dusting now and again. I keep all my workout gear at the gym, so all I have to do is roll out of bed, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth before I head to the gym.

One morning I went to grab my gear out of my cubby and my shoes were missing. Out of the corner of my eye, a piece of paper winked up at me from where my shoes should normally be found.

It was a note from a woman who took some shoes home that she thought might possibly be her shoes. She wasn’t 100% sure, so she left a long diatribe about how she took some shoes and if she took your shoes, you should email her.

She ended the letter with her email address and a drawing of a smiling flower. At this point in the morning, I was not a smiling flower.

I found myself standing in the locker room, dressed and ready for action, but no shoes. A huffy email was drafted from my phone, demanding she return my shoes ASAP.

They were returned the next day with a very apologetic note. I promptly put my name on the inside of my shoes and made a public service announcement to all the women in the change room about the shoe thief.

A few weeks later, as I got dressed for a killer leg day, my shoes went missing. One minute my shoes were there and then two minutes later they were not.

At that moment, I was officially upset and unsure about the kind of women who train at my gym. While I got ready for work, after not working out because my shoes were MIA once again, I devised a plan.

I decided to go out and look at all the women’s feet intending make a scene when I found the perpetrator. The pent-up angst from not being able to train my legs was going to be unleashed upon the shoe thief.

While applying my mascara and practicing my speech, I noticed one of my friends covertly motioning to me. She quietly let me know that a somewhat confused looking woman just walked in with shoes that looked just like mine.

I staged a confrontation.

I found the suspected shoe thief standing next to the shoe cubbyholes, looking bewildered. I put my hands on my hips, stomped over to her, and minced no words.

She indeed was wearing my shoes, simply because she couldn’t find her shoes. They looked similar to her shoes, and since she didn’t know where hers were, she opted to use mine…

…WITHOUT SOCKS!

The shoes were still warm when she handed them back to me.

The most incredulous part was that my shoes appeared to be about 3 sizes too large for her. She had to batten those suckers right down to get them to stay on, which resulted in a clownish appearance.

I don’t even know how she managed to keep them on while making them all sweaty, without wearing any socks. I just have one question.

“Who are these women, and how do they not know what their shoes look like?”

Apparently, I have the most popular shoes at the gym. I’ve always wanted to be popular, but if this is popularity, I think I’ll pass.

For more hilarious fitness stories like this, check out Donloree’s new book, If I Die, Please Bring Cheesecake To My Funeral.

Leave a comment below with your crazy, funny, gym stories!

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