- January. 7 2020
Do you catch yourself noticing the thoughts that run through your mind sometimes and think, geez some of the things I say about myself I would NEVER say about my closest friend!
But yet, you say them about yourself? Don’t worry, I’ve been there too. And so have many other women, like Kimberly Riggins.
When I first met Kimberly, she and I got on a call together to get to know each other and chat, and it turned into a ping-pong match of me-too’s because our messages are so closely aligned with each others.
Kimberly has a way of diving deep down to the core of what’s keeping you from what she calls “releasing your inner vixen.” And well, who doesn’t want a little more vixen in their life, eh?
I asked Kimberly to come on today and share her message with you, so that you learn how to tame that inner dialogue that (in so many ways) tells you that you CAN’T, when you most certainly CAN.
This post is geared for the ladies, but guys rest assured, you might learn a thing or two also! Think: Understanding what’s really going on when your girlfriend asks you that dreaded question, “Does this make me look fat?”
Guest Post By Kimberely Riggins
How to tame your inner critical bitch—that negative voice inside your head that keeps telling you you’re “not enough.”
Ah yes. That little voice inside your head that just never seems to shut up. Boy, is she ruthless. Always telling you what to do, how to act, judging you, illuminating your flaws. It’s no wonder you believe her. She is always there.
“You look so fat!”
“You can never do anything right.”
“No wonder he left you.”
“You are never going to succeed.”
“No one is ever going to really love you.”
“You are never going to have any money.”
“Face it, you are always going to be stuck in your current situation.”
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
I’m sure you’ve heard these words or some version of them in your lifetime. They might be on a vicious loop that is on constant replay. Or perhaps they saturate your mind when you are under immense amounts of stress or when you are looking into the eyes of one of your fears.
The good news is you don’t have to listen to these negative thoughts. They are NOT actually your thoughts. These thoughts are just ideas that you’ve picked up from listening to your parents, siblings, friends, lovers, spouses, bosses, co-workers. These thoughts are essentially a bunch of collective negative garbage meant to keep you on the “not good enough” train.
This is the train your “inner critical bitch” wants you to ride. She stays in charge as long as you stay in your seat.
I know it may not sound possible now but you have the power to get off the train. In fact, you have far more power than she does. You CHOOSE your thoughts and you DECIDE which thoughts you believe. Therefore, you have the ability to tame her.
The absolute best way to get to know your inner critical bitch is to personify her. The idea is to separate her from who you are because she and her ideas are not YOU.
So give your inner critical bitch a name and most importantly describe her.
What does she look like? How does she dress? What color hair does she have? What’s her style? What tone of voice does she use?
What triggers her? What fears do you have that bring her out? When is she the loudest?
Remember, your inner critical bitch’s job is to keep you stuck. Her main goal is to destroy your dreams. To make you feel so insecure that you couldn’t possibly move forward.
YOU need to get rid of her. So play with this idea of personifying her and be specific.
After you give her life, you have the power to create her demise. Or at the very least, keep her quiet.
I know this sounds a bit crazy or over the top but it really truly works.
Once I personified my inner critical bitch, my life changed. Rather than taking those thoughts on as my own, I was able to give them a home. This was a crucial step for helping me recognize them as the negative, repetitive, cruel nonsense that that are.
I started putting less weight into the meaning of these thoughts. I was able to objectively acknowledge them without getting upset and at the same time, shift them into positive thoughts. What a relief!
The whole idea of “You Control Your Thoughts” made sense to me now!
My inner critical bitch is still around. She is much quieter and much more reserved and from time to time, I have to have a little sit down with her but for the most part, she is under control and honestly someone I now can call a friend. When she gets loud, I realize something in my life is out of sync. Now I use her as a tool to help me stay on track, to get super focused and to keep pushing the barriers to claim my dreams.
And as crazy as this all sounds, you can achieve the same results. You can quiet your inner critical bitch and you most definitely can get off the “not enough” train.
It’s time you stopped letting your negative thoughts control your life. It’s time to live the life you’ve always dreamed of having. A life where you fall head over heels in love with who you are. A life filled with loving, amazing relationships and of course, a life where you have a whole lot of fun.
Jump in! I want to hear from you. What negative thoughts are constantly being recycled in your head? How have you combated these negative thoughts? I am here to help. Let me know by leaving a comment below or check out my upcoming round of Release Your Inner Vixen where we address these thoughts head on!
Kimberly Riggins is a body image and self-love expert, negative self-talk warrior and an inspirational catalyst who inspires women to let go of their body hang-ups, kick their inner critical bitch to the curb and release their inner vixen.