- February. 20 2019
Have you ever noticed that there are two common types of acceptable small talk? No, make that three.
I’m half joking, half not. Complaining, worrying, and talking about things that are wrong is so acceptable that it has literally become something that strangers can use to connect with each other. Does this not seem odd to you too?
All kidding aside, it’s really something to think about. When a friend you haven’t talked to in a while asks how you are doing, have you started filling them in and suddenly noticed the conversation has somehow veered off on some long tangent of some bad circumstance that you had to deal with?
Why do we spend so much time thinking and talking about the things that bother us? It’s like we think that if we take our mind off of it or distract ourselves from the wrongness of it for a moment, that suddenly it will attack us or get us in some way!
We all know that paying so much attention to the bad things in our lives doesn’t benefit us, but we still do it. It’s a habit and it’s something we just do because it’s what we’ve always done (or at least learned to do somewhere along the way).
There are so many things to appreciate, and the good things far far far outweight the bad, yet still we could spend hours thinking about that one thing that isn’t working out like we had hoped.
Maybe it’s time to take a vacation from venting and worrying. For one week try to go without complaining. No talking about your worries… no THINKING about your worries.
You might say, “How could I possibility go a week without thinking about a problem?! Life happens, I need to deal.” There’s a big difference between thinking about the solution and thinking about the problem itself over and over again. Yay for solutions, but thinking about and talking about the problem over and over again is not helpful.
All that time you usually spend worrying… fill it with daydreams about all the things in your life that you appreciate.
You know how you typically take that one scenario where things didn’t go right and you play it over and over in your head? Stop that. Instead, replay a scenario that went really well over and over again in your mind.
What would life be like if we just lived in this moment, without reliving past wrongs or taking our imaginary selves into the future and dropping ourselves down into some made up worst case scenario?
It would be more fun! Happier! Less stressful!
We’d have so much more clarity and vitality because we wouldn’t be wasting our time on things that don’t really matter anymore or haven’t even happened.
Take this next week and try it out. Do yourself and your loved ones the biggest favor you could even give – take a vacation from worrying, complaining, and pointing out all the things that are wrong and instead fill your days with celebration of all that is RIGHT!