- March. 7 2020
So you have this big, audacious fitness goal that you really want to reach. In simple terms, you want to be ripped and lean. Your life would be complete if you were just able to finally get there.
You’d feel so good about yourself and could walk around with your head held high. But something always seems to hold you back. You fall off the wagon, get derailed by traveling, going out a lot, work being really hectic, or any of the other common reasons.
Well, don’t be so hard on yourself because, first of all, you are not alone. And second, these things that have been getting in your way, are really just surface issues. There’s something going on at a deeper level that is the real reason why you can’t get there.
And that’s fear. When we are scared we sabotage ourselves, whether we realize we are scared or not. In fact, this happens at a subconscious level. And there are four main fears that hold most people back.
Today I am going to lay those fears out for you, and then in Part 2, I’ll walk you through how to get past them.
For most people, when they start out toward a fitness goal, it feels like a big stretch (because, duh, it usually is) and that can be daunting. We immediately start thinking of all of the comforts that we are going to have to give up in order to get there, i.e. time on the couch, sleeping in, eating pizza, drinking beer, etc.
And then, once you reach that goal, then what? Then you have to keep it up. Yikes, that seems like a lot of work! “You mean I have to eat this way and work out this often for the rest of my life??” Talk about feeling trapped.
You may not even realize you are having these sorts of thoughts, but if this triggers something inside of you, then fear of freedom is probably holding you back.
“Who am I to be ripped and lean? Why do I deserve to have this amazing body that so many people long for? I’m not special, in fact my genetics are totally against me in this desire. There’s no way I can get there, or if I can, there would be no way I could maintain it for the long term. Look at all of the other people who go on diets and work so hard and they don’t succeed, so what makes me think that I can?” If this triggers something inside of you when you read this, it’s likely you don’t truly believe you deserve to be ripped and lean.
When you are doing really well, eating healthy and taking good care of your body, do you ever get nervous about going to a friend or family member’s house who you know isn’t that supportive of your healthy lifestyle? How frustrating, right?
You are trying to be healthy and here you are worried about what unhealthy people are going to think about you. You tell yourself, “Who cares!! I need to do what’s best for me.” But it still gets to you and throws you out of whack, and sometimes off the wagon, trying to please them.
This is where lack of permission comes in. You feel guilty for your choices. You find yourself wondering how much is enough? When are you going to be happy with yourself? You’ve gotten pretty healthy, and have made some changes and have been able to maintain them, so maybe you should just settle and be happy with where you are at.
The root of this fear is about you not giving yourself permission to want more for yourself.
It sounds strange to call skepticism a fear, but it really is. Skepticism is a front that we’ve picked up over time, which keeps us from moving into a bigger and better life. We get into the habit of looking around with cynical eyes, searching for reasons why we can just stay put where we can rationalize why it’s okay to continue the complain train.
Things like saying, “Oh that won’t work for me,” or pointing out all of the stuff that’s wrong with the things that deep in your heart you actually really want, are examples of this limiting fear.
These old ways of thinking and being are not going to give you the results you are looking for, they are just going to keep you stuck. In order to get different results, you’ve got to do something different.
In Part 2 we’re going to talk about what you need to do to get out of those icky, old fear-based ways of thinking.
TAKE ACTION: Do any of these resonate with you? Leave a comment below and let me know which of these fears is holding you back most.